Tim gets stuck into tribute bands. The bane of a civilised society, the scourge of the intelligensia and a right rip off if you ask me.

Oasis, after taking their kids to school yesterday.

The cover version has always been an important thread in rock’s rich tapestry, the one that served to link each generation to the next. Ever since The Beatles and The Stones began their careers peddling covers, it has been a way for bands to acknowledge their influences and, occasionally, surpass them. For some people, this was the point of cover versions- take a song written by someone else, do it your own way and help it realise its full potential. Take, for example, ‘A Little Help From My Friends’. For The Beatles it was nothing more than a Ringo vehicle, an almost comic throwaway, but it became a 70s Woodstock anthem after Joe Cocker covered it, evoking the era so much that they used it as the theme song to ‘The Wonder Years’.

For a long time, this was the accepted philosophy of cover versions, but, as with everything, the wheel turned full circle. Just as 90s bands started to quote Sixties and Seventies influences in their music, the phenomena of the tribute band began to take hold. These, in case you have remained completely oblivious to their existence, are bands whose entire raison d’être is to sound EXACTLY LIKE ANOTHER BAND. So we have the Australian Doors, The Scottish Sex Pistols, Björn Again, The Bootleg Beatles, Nearvana and so on. Now, in a way I can understand the appeal of these bands. If you had been unable to see the real thing, but still have a yearning to see your favourite songs performed live, then it might as well be by a group of people who make it their business to do it well. However, there are a number of bands whose existence I cannot fathom. They trade under names like Champagne Supernova, The Gallaghers and, most famously, No Way Sis. These are bands who make their living performing songs by a band who still exist. You might have heard of them, they’re called Oasis and they had a song in the charts once. What, pray, is the point of forking out twelve quid to see No Way Sis at Wolverhampton Civic when Oasis are still around and still touring? Unless you are an Oasis junkie beyond help, who has to have a fix of his favourite band as soon as possible, I can see no point.

No Way Sis, popping out for some milk yesterday.

And now it begins to get really silly. No Way Sis (crap name, too) have reportedly just signed a FIVE ALBUM DEAL!! FIVE ALBUMS!! Of what, may I ask? Oasis covers? Maybe their Christmas effort, ‘I’d Like To Teach The World To Sing’, is a hint to what the future holds for them, but will anybody be interested in buying albums filled with covers of the songs that Oasis ripped off in the first place? Seeing as the whole point of No Way Sis is that they sound exactly like Oasis, and taking into account that CDs are all about the same price, I can think of no eventuality where buying a No Way Sis album would be a better bet than just going home and listening to your Oasis albums.

Anyway, this set me to thinking- how does one go about being in a tribute band? How closely do you have to follow the path of your idols? I mean, it’s one thing for Liam-bloke from No Way Sis to wear clothes like Liam would, but will he have the big number 3 all over now that Liam has? And surely the real Liam could have a bit of fun with this, for example by announcing that he’s just had a tattoo saying ‘Patsy Forever’ done on his willy. Presumably, it will eventually get to the point where they kick out their drummer (maybe they already have, I don’t know) and call off a major tour so that Liam-bloke can go househunting with a Patsy Kensit lookalike.

What disturbs me is that some people actually bought the bloody single and these bands can happily fill venues of people paying the kind of money they’d pay to see proper bands. So, will somebody please put a stop to this, before we are inundated with millions of other tribute bands; the Belgian Ocean Colour Scene, the Copycat Peter André, the Spanish Street Preachers (warning to the rhythm guitarist- don’t give up the day job and don’t get too attached to your car) or the Swedish Spice Girls....now there’s a thought.

Tim.