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Insanity. By Ben.
As Tim lets out a high pitched whine and Malcolm repeatedly whacks him round the head with the Sports section of The Observer, Dave suggests ‘Brazilliant’ for a Drugstore title and my short term memory can’t cope with the chocolate order when I finally get to the newsagent we realise that issue 23 of the Baggage is being bought to you thanks to the power of insanity. It got to the stage that at one point Malcolm and Tim conversed only in gangster lines spoken in the style of Michael Caine whilst the ghost of Elliott learnt the alphabet using ‘The Learning Book’. Spank was spotted standing looking bewildered muttering “What do you call the dressing gown someone wears when they do karate?” before being joined by Dave saying; “I don’t know what do you call the dressing gown someone wears when they do karate?” This ever-repeating dialogue was only stopped when Malcolm bumped into them whilst chasing Tim round the office with a copy of the Spin Alternative Records Guide. This manifests itself through the text emerging from our metaphors like a degenerate child sneaking out of his fascistic parents house for a night of cathartic vandalism. Ploughing through the copy like a coked-up teenager driving a hotwired BMW through the middle of Manchester, our raging minds spewed forth septic puss gathered from the pores of unhygenic cows. And so, as the Baggage nears its close for this issue we try and scrape our remaining brain cells from the disturbing mess on the floor and observe the mess of our uncontrolled written diarrhoea. If any of it offends you then accept our heartfelt apologies. Ben. |
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