This issue, Elliott meets Gary Barfly.

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of talking to the influential songwriter, Gary Barfly, lead singer of Take This, about his latest song, 'Back For Food', a bittersweet story of rejection in a London chippie.

Gary, it's a pleasure to finally meet you.
Mmm... yesss.

You have recently been labelled 'The greatest songwriter of your generation'. What shampoo do you use?
Timotei, 'cos it's lovely on me locks.

Marvellous. I'm here to discuss your latest smash hit, which follows on the heels of such great numbers as 1, 2 and 3, and great songs such as 'Could it be Manilow', 'Relight my Kite' and 'Grey'. To me, the songs seem to be about rejection, about being shut out, being left. They don't answer your calls, they don't want to know you anymore...
Well, I...

Shut up! I'm talking. They chew you up and spit you out. They break your heart into a million pieces and piss on every one of them. It's over and you have to face it, 'cause they're not coming back, and you're left completely alone with no hope and joy, but a life ahead of you full of sadness and anger and hate. (sob...sob...sob)
Well, actually, it's about Andi Peters.

Gary Barfly wasn't talking to Elliott.